Unleashing Resilience: Reflecting on a Year Post-Total Thyroidectomy

It has been 18 months since my total thyroidectomy. 

Once again, I am filled with eternal gratitude towards my oncology surgeon , Dr. Jayson Garibeles Espejo, to his compassionate attending nurses, and other dedicated team members who supported me throughout my journey. I am also thankful to my beloved family-Marion,  kuya Fritz, kuya Wayne, and my little Fame, to Jony and my other younger sisters and brothers, to my parents, and to my  cherished friends-Jinky, Panyok, Pepito, Rowena, Arlene, Des, Mel, Ma'am Elfa, Leo and others whom I failed to mention here, to my co-workers- my supportive SHS family, to my former school heads and bosses- Ma'am Pie and Sir Renato, DepEd supervisors, and above all, to the Divine presence of the Highest Lord Jesus, a heartfelt appreciation. 

Amidst of health issue and resilience, personal journey often lead us to unexpected turns. One such path, marked by a total thyroidectomy last June 15, 2022, took me on a year-long adventure of self-discovery,  and triumph. As I am reflecting today  upon my incredible experience, with gratitude in my heart, I am sharing my story of pushing boundaries and embracing a new Me.

The day of my total thyroidectomy marked a profound shift in my life. Literally, I lost 24 kilos after my operation and this helped me become more determined to continue my fitness journey.  I embarked on a monthly health monitoring- I do regular visits to endocrinologist, OB gynecologist, and cardiologist. Imagine the agony and anxiety behind these health engagements. Series of laboratory tests and check-ups gave me invaluable insights into my body's response to the surgery and the subsequent hormonal changes-irregular menstruation, sleeping difficulty, breathing disorder, hair loss, palpitations, weak bones/knees, muscle spasms, anxiety, and mood swings. 

I even thought that the secret of finding inner peace amidst stresses and pressures is to minimize your social circle. So, I always choose to be alone in my room after my entire day of works- Listening to my favorite songs, watching reels, playing videos, and sleeping. I found solace in the support of my loved ones. Looking forward, I am cancer free during my first and second cycles and still waiting to my next  appointment with my endocrinologist for the final remarks about my laboratories.

As such, through the ups and downs, my marriage life suffers due to my emotional rides. My husband can't handle my mood swings and often complain to his confidant friends about my sudden changes that he always found it unacceptable and unpleasant as compared to my old self. I cannot blame him for longing to my old self who cares only for him- my feeling of abandonment keep growing everyday, and it was so difficult to feel invalidated because my synthetic hormones made me feel this internal conflict. 

I really tried my best to overcome these challenges, and I even tried to divert my attention -20 minutes daily exercise, hiking, dancing, playing guitar, TikTok, and I even continued my craft in writing.  But little did I knew, it made me feel more independent, the thought of being capable in absence of my husband's support, the consequence then, became inevitable. I conditioned my mind that I can have this temporary life without him. 

Today, as I reflect upon the challenges and victories of the past year, a profound sense of gratitude washes over me. Being alive after a total thyroidectomy is a testament to the resilience of the my thriving spirit. My inner will is greater than my physical vessel! there are circumstances in our lives where we could choose to be happy despite of some illnesses like papillary carcinoma!